The Bringer of Change
I vow (I know, super intense start) that this blog shall be about me and the things in my life that are foundational to who I am. This vow is more for me than it is for you. I know myself well enough to know that I love to write about other people. You could say this blog is about my exercising my vanity to be a useful tool of remembrance of my 20s.
This week, I have been on the verge of tears 24/7. The flush in my left cheek tells me it's hormonal. I've been having headaches each evening. The period tracking app on my phone tells me it's hormonal, my mother tells me it's hormonal. So basically, I am a big hormonal mess.
I have started to go through and pack up my closet because in exactly 2 weeks, I am moving out of the apartment that I have been living in for the past 2 years. This ending to a very cosmic situation with my now roommate--whom I met during a study abroad in Berlin when I desperately needed a place to live come September--has not helped the fact that my baseline right now is me on the verge of tears.
Next week is the end of my first co-op work term. The job that I've been working these past 4 months means so much to me. I love teaching, especially when I am teaching about the ocean. I love my co-workers and how graciously they opened their arms to me. I feel like I could come back here and work a real big girl job one day. I worry that without work, these friendships won't be maintained, but I am gonna try to start sending Dave memes, and I already have Kierra's phone number. So I believe I have those two on lock. But nonetheless, this co-op has genuinely changed my life and gotten me so excited about learning again. I have never taken such good care of myself or had this much space in my life as I have while working this job.
Everything is changing in these next two weeks. In these next two weeks, I will either be in a committed situationship or slightly heartbroken, but I won't get into that because, as I said, this blog is about me, not silly boys who want to waste my time.
It seems that April is continuing as she always has, as the bringer of change, the bringer of random snow storms, the bringer of flower buds that peak through the grass. I am grateful this April. I am letting go lightly of the things that I have held onto this semester. I know that I will be okay come the summer. Even if my hormonal tears dehydrate me in these next two weeks.